Turned it down.

So I (Lisa) turned down the job I was offered at the salon on George St. I struggled this whole week, with just strongly not wanting to work there, praying for peace, and trying to convince myself that I was being foolish and there was no good reason for me to not accept this job, no matter how much I did not want to work there, or felt I wasn't up for the job. It finally came down to the day of my second interview. I had Rachael come in with me, and we had a good time, when I could hear her anyway, that salon was terribly loud! And then... the hair cut was done... Janine checked Rach's hair, Rach left.. and it had come to the moment where you either get the job or don't. I wasn't sure at all what I wanted to hear come out of Janine's mouth. It was a job offer. And I sat there, chatted, smiled, said I would think it over, but more then likely I would call tomorrow to go over the contract. Said goodbye.. walked to my car, in turmoil the whole way. I get in the car and the panic hit. I was just trying to hang on till I got home and Aaron could fix me haha. He does have a way of making anything wrong with me better :). I get home, Aaron looks at me, says "You don't look happy. Did you not get the job?"
I flop down on the couch, "yeah I got the job (sobs erupt), but i really don't want it!!" Poor Aaron. He handles me so well. He tells me he doesn't want me to take the job if I don't have peace. I tell him I feel it would be foolish to not take it, as we need the money. Sobbing I tell him," I really don't want to work there, but I will and it will be fine." He tells me, "No. Just think about it for tonight." It didn't take a whole night. I decided pretty quick I was going to pass, I just needed to hear my husband say it was ok for me to pass on it.
 So I called this morning and politely turned the job down. I told her I couldn't be the hairdresser that her salon needs right now. And have felt great ever since! Haven't second guessed it at all. I got that peace I had been praying for.
 This all goes back to the whole blessings thing of my last blog. And me believing God wants to bless me. I was pretty sure that God had given me this job and I had to take it. I was almost certain He was trying to get me to take a job I just... couldn't stand the thought of working, and that He would give me peace later, or it was another lesson I had to go through.(See my self esteem has been shaky lately, and I thought this job would be God's way of making me face that, and to make me see just how capable I am)  And yet again.. I was wrong. Shocking. It was a lesson yes, but not the lesson I had thought it to be. I had to let go of this job that I literally feared, and got panic attacks at the thought of, even though I thought we needed me to take it. We needed the money. This job had come up so easy it must be God's will.. right?? No. I had to let it go, and trust God when He said "No, you need to trust Me that I will give you a job. And that until I do, I will provide for you. Just relax. I got this one."

 So I am back on the hunt. But I am not worried. We will find the job for me when we are supposed to find it. And till then I am going to continue to enjoy this time of peacefulness, of being a house wife(which I love!!) and of being able to spend so much time with my man. He is my favorite person to be around after all :). And I am so thankful I do not have to work there!!!!!!! I can't even tell  you how incredibly thankful I am!! I don't have to do hair competitions!! Not a one!!!! This my friends, is a great, great, great day!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoo. Relief is so sweet. :)